In Pursuit

As I sat down at my computer tonight, I felt like it has been a long time since I've last written. Like I've been estranged. There has been so much chaos in my head this last week I have felt distanced from many things. But as T Rex was loading my blog (sometimes it takes a little longer than others) I felt a quiet calm and comforting feeling. I suppose my blog has become a trusted friend- a safe and enjoyable place to visit. I am grateful for the peace I feel right now. I went to a fireside tonight and Elder Ballard spoke- the noise and anxiety in my heart and mind made it difficult at times to hear, but the spirit was there. (Hard for it not to be when there is an apostle of Jesus Christ speaking.) I caught a few precious pieces of his comments but more importantly- I left with peace. The spirit was present and it had enough time to work on me that I left with what I needed, peace. This is yet another confirmation of the truthfulness of the gospel. I was positively changed by the spirit of the Lord which was present to testify the truth of the words of a man of God. The gospel truly has power to change us if we are willing. And- I have never yet been anything but grateful for the changes it has brought.



If anyone has followed my blog long enough- which there may be a handful, amazingly enough- you might remember a scathing review and reminiscence I rendered after attending the ballet. I am about to write a contradictory statement to ones previously mentioned. I was given free dance classes in exchange for my help with the dancers. On Wednesday night I pulled out from the depths of my bed a black leotard, pink tights and my old pair of ballet slippers. I was amazed at how I felt as I donned the classic seamed tights. I felt like I was coming home. Returning to something I had loved but forgotten. As I entered the studio and put my hand on the barre and looked at the mirrors and space filled with potential I felt like I was where I belonged. Not that ballet will ever be my favorite but it is not the ugly step-child I sometimes try to make it out to be. I learned a lot in the years at the barre- it help to shape who I am for the better and it was really good to return. I am a little slow and weak but it's still there. And it felt really good. I felt like a dancer- and I love feeling that way. I am happiest when I feel like a dancer. A lot of people don't know that side of me and that makes me sad. I remember a time when everyone thought I was a dance major and were shocked to find out I wasn't. Now it's the opposite, people are shocked I am a dancer- or don't really believe me. But that is besides the point. The point is, I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed donning the pink tights. I even bought myself a new pair of ballet shoes this week so I don't rip off a chunk of my toe again next time because my other shoes are too old. But what is ballet without some skin loss?



Work- that is still a conundrum. One of several things I find myself perseverating about. Although I am finding my work endurance increasing- it wasn't until late Thursday that I was "done" with work, I do notice that it is coming at a cost. I feel myself getting "harder" and less open inside. Alas- I have a feeling I will be at my quest for the right change for awhile. And as my good friend says- perhaps what you really need is a change of attitude. If you could take my commute out, give me a consistent lunch break and paperwork time, add in a little continuing ed support I would have nothing to complain about.

I find the night is waning and although I would like to write a bit more, I have other needs to address. I suppose I will forever be in the pursuit of time.

Erring on the Side of Action

I thought I was done blogging, but, this story has kept coming to my mind for over a week. I might not have peace until I write it. Not sure of its significance and I feel sheepish about it for several reasons. Not the kind of story I typically publish as a blog. I have not put the research into this story as I should have- getting the circumstances and details to be sure I am not expounding false information. So major disclaimer before I start! It is paraphrased and more than second hand. But regardless of the details, I believe the principles are sound.
Last month I was talking with my brother and he shared this story. Elder Uchtdorf was interviewing men to reorganize a stake presidency. One of the men he interviewed sat down and during the course of the interview simply stated- I already know that I will be in the presidency- the spirit has already told me. Elder Uchtdorf was surprised and speechless and remained quiet for awhile seeking understanding for the situation. Then the gift of discernment came and he understood. He responded- You are not quite right. The spirit told you that you are worthy to be in the stake presidency but at that point you stopped listening. Otherwise you would have heard the but. But it is not now. Here was a man close to and willing to hear the spirit- but- he missed some. How often do I fail to get the whole message? How much more is the Lord trying to tell me? Whether I stopped listening mid-sentence or I received counsel for how to proceed and then stopped listening when it was time for that counsel to change. I am sure I am guilty at times of both accounts. But, I am grateful for the Lord who knows our hearts and desires and has many ways to reach out to his children. I am not sure if the impetus to write this story is my own or from the spirit. As a rule, if I don't know I choose to err on the side of action. So there you have it...

Whirly Twirly Autumn Leaves

Today was the perfect Autumn day! How lucky that it landed on a Saturday. After snow and ice earlier this week, mother nature showed her love by a sunny "warm" fall day. The kind that encourages taking time for the present and gratitude. This weekend was my time to take control of the mess the whirly twirly leaves left at the house. I knew it would take a couple of hours... Have you ever noticed how your "2 hour" Saturday projects always wind up as double? I greatly underestimated the size of the task- bagging leaves with only one person takes a long time! I wished my roommates were home to help bag- I considered calling someone for help- but didn't know how that would go over. So being the big girl I am, I did it all alone. It may have been more fun and less time consuming if I had help- but I would have to share the bragging rights. (Which last only till tomorrow when more leaves fall- but the majority had already taken their bow.)

Mid project. I raked the driveways, walkways, gutters in the street, sidewalk, lawn where the chestnuts where because they would chew up the lawn mower, mowed the lawn to pick up the rest of the leaves- had to stop and buy gas for the lawn mower half way through- and swept up after to finish it off. 4 hours later...


I was too tired to smile for the camera. But very pleased with a job well done. Nothing like exercise the old fashion way (although I did take a yoga class 2 hours later). I like to work outside and in the yard. It allowed me to enjoy the entire beautiful day by being outside in it, where I should and wanted to be, rather than from a window- and that is more than something to be grateful for.




In the end- 13 bags of leaves- a slight back ache- and an entire garbage container (the huge collection can) full of grass and leaf clippings.

But it looks great!! And two of my roommates noticed when they came home and made a big deal over the work I put in- and that feels pretty good too. My to do list has some unchecked items on it- but it was worth it. Today was my ode in action to Whirly Twirly Autumn Leaves!

Writer's Block and Love

I found myself staring blankly on an empty blog screen last night pondering why I had nothing to say. Nothing was coming. Not that I haven't had anything happening, I just realized I didn't want to write about it. As a general rule- I do not blog about boys/dates unless they are years removed. Just a bad idea to begin with and that is one the few areas of my life I choose to keep more to myself. I'm not a fan of politics and get involved typically out of a social/moral duty but otherwise would rather stay away from that topic. Especially with Prop 8- Watching the beginning of the end... End of the democratic process- with the SF mayor deciding he doesn't care about the will of the people he is going to do it his own way anyway. End of the beautiful period of peace the members of the church has had as the world rises up against us... I am just thankful for the Book of Mormon- it is a vital source of strength! I am still waiting for the right pieces to come together for a new work scenario. And I am tired of complaining about it. So I haven't wanted to write about that either. I did go down after work yesterday to the Salt Lake Ballet Conservatory and talked to the dancers, gave advice, and answered questions in exchange for dance classes. I was amazed how happy I was doing it. I didn't even notice the time pass and I was happy sitting down on a Friday night at the computer afterward putting together an info sheet for the dancers. As soon as I walked into the studio I found myself standing a little taller and breathing a little easier as the weight of the day start to lift. I didn't mind how late I was there and I wanted to come back soon when I left. What a contrast to my current job that drains the life out of me and I can't wait to leave. I know I liked being a physical therapist- I just don't like the current implementation. So maybe I don't have a dream day job but I'm hoping to weasel my way in the door to have a great side job- maybe I can even work it so I can get paid in more than just dance classes. It has been interesting as I have been looking into finding a new job I have started hearing for the first time from various sources that my name is being recognized by doctors and referral sources as being a good therapist. Frustrated to realize I have begun to make a name for myself somewhere just as I'm trying to leave it. It took me 2 1/2 years to gain this respect and it is hard to think of leaving it and starting over. Although, I may still be there for a while yet. I'm not sure when things will come together for a change...

Can you understand why I had writers block last night? I like to write to document my life and to unravel something insightful to share or that inspires my mind and I was bone dry. But today is different. I am chewing on a thought I had yesterday... True to form- when I'm chewing on something my blog becomes the sounding board. I was trying to understand why I feel like I'm not accomplishing much in my life. This has been a conundrum for awhile. How can I feel this way when I spend my whole week helping restore people to function and reduced pain. When I travel to see the world, when I read, write, exercise, listen and talk to others, learn new skills... Constantly seeking to not waste my time and become better. How do I still feel like my life is slipping away and I'm missing the boat somehow? What makes a successful life?-- The answer is one I've heard many times before but never understood or perhaps ever really believed. Plain and simple it is all about LOVE. A successful life is one that is full of love. A life of giving and receiving love is the best life of all. It fills in all the cracks and makes beautiful and expansive what was plain and small. Love is elevating, enabling, and ennobling to all involved. Love creates, heals, inspires and softens. Love gives purpose and direction. Everything else is icing on the cake when you love. Apparently, I'm eating a lot of icing and not getting much cake! No wonder I don't feel great... So the question I'm left with is how do I change my life toward love, while single, so I feel fulfilled? I may be able to prattle off some answers but I don't think it is that easy. I need to make some honest changes- how I think, approach activities, responsibilities, friends... It is so easy to be selfish when your single. I'm not thinking this change will be easy. In fact I have a sneaky suspicion I will start and stop a lot. But I need to try. Otherwise I'll realize how much precious time I have wasted being unhappy and wish I had changed. Life is too short to waste!

Halloween- the old fashion way

With my inbox littered with Halloween party invites, I found myself uninspired to attend any of them. I find Halloween a dichotomous experience. On one hand it is fall, festive, excited happy children, and an opportunity to create and express. On the other hand, it is dark, bloody, and explores evil and frightening elements. Celebrating that which we shun on any other day. I also feel a unspoken pressure, probably self created, to be witty, clever, original, or just down right spendy and transform into...ta da! Whatever your- ta da- might be. I like to get dressed up now and then, and, I don't mind costumes, but my brain just doesn't think- I want to be a Care Bear- or Tina Turner! Call me unimaginative or cheap- but coming up with a Halloween costume is not my forte. Although, I truly appreciate others joy and creations.

Some years I have donned a "costume", my version at least, and enjoyed making social appearances. This year, however, no dice. So I opted to spend the evening with family. Celebrating the night the old fashion way- trick or treating with children. And with who else? With nieces and nephews as cute as mine- who can resist?




Jacob was given a pair of fanged teeth and they were his favorite. But he had to take them out to eat.

On our way out the door to hit up the neighbors for some candy- a photo with my favorite trick or treaters was a must!

The lamb and I on our way with a view of expertly carved jack- o- lanterns.

Heather Kenna was given a sucker at one of the houses. She played and played with it- until Mom noticed she had broken through the wrapper and was really enjoying it. This is her not so happy face because Mom took it away.

We made a stop and David and Anginette's house where they were festive in their decorations. I loved this strange creature on their front porch.

I loved watching the kids run ahead because they were so excited to get to the next house. Gaining more fuel at each stop to feed their sugar addiction. It was nice to have a night that wasn't about me. Just to enjoy family- spending precious moments together. It is a good reminder- family is what it truly important.

Tortuguero to the End

Our accommodations were at the All Rankin's Lodge. There were plenty of high roller luxury lodges lining the canal around the village- but The Rankin's lodge was just what we were looking for.

Our little cabin just for the two of us.

View from the front porch. I could have spent days sitting, napping, thinking, or reading. Either there or in the hammocks next to the canal. The weather was perfect and the view spectacular. Again we were surrounded by butterflies, birds, water, trees, and flowers. Just on the other side of the last edge of trees was the beach. You could hear it from our porch. I appreciated how quiet and peaceful it was. More in the natural setting for the area rather than the fancy resorts.

I wish I could say I spent more time in that hammock than I did. But the few minutes were cherished.

Hammock, touch of sun, resting, book in lap, someone else preparing dinner- that is one definition of heaven.

The Caribbean- My first time on this ocean. I should make a list of all the oceans/seas I have touched. This is beach you meet just on the other side of the trees.

I could not believe how clear the water was! Look at how badly I need to fix my toenail polish!

This may look like a pointless picture until you learn that this is a turtle nest. These "pits" were all over the beach front. I was in awe of all the turtles they represented.

Those are turtle tracks! The turtles crawl out of the ocean at night, dig a pit and scoop out a precise sized, surprisingly, deep hole where they lay their eggs. Then they throw sand/dirt all over to throw off the scent and crawl back and disappear into the ocean. Want to know something cool? I saw it!!! The land is protected because it is the nesting site of the giant green sea turtle and it is endangered. You have to have a guide and there are no cameras- no exceptions. Saturday night we went out with Willis as our guide and saw the whole thing! I was two feet away from the eggs being dropped. What a miracle to witness! I think my favorite part was watching the turtle disappear back in to the ocean. It is a lot of work for those mothers. I really wanted to see the little turtles scamper from the sand to the ocean but it was not our luck for that. But we got what we came for and that was a lot.

This spider was amazing! I glad it wasn't moving because it might have scared me away. It was ginormous.

Walking to the village we ran into a few locals hunting coconuts. We, of course, had to investigate further.

The boy was a wizard with the machete cutting open the coconuts. The green ones are the ones with the milk. When they are brown and hairy they are ready to be eaten.

Amy had been dying to get her hands on a machete our whole trip- it's amazing what you can get if you just ask. I will say that our little friend was a bit nervous watching her.

Fresh coconut milk! I was hoping to like it better than I did. Not that it is was bad- just not delicious.

This is the Costa Rica dream- or at least mine. I wish I had one day just to fully investigate that scene.

Preparing coconut to eat for the long line of tourist form the resorts. I preferred our coconut experience.

Sunset on the canal. This is where/when the saying "don't take it away from me" was born. As we were walking through the village we reached the outskirts and I heard this noise. My mind couldn't wrap itself around it and I wasn't not able to identify it. So I came up with my own explanation. I said "It sounds like monkeys snoring in the trees." Amy gave me a look like I was crazy and was about to say something contradictory- when I said "I'm on vacation, don't take it away from me, it's monkeys snoring in the trees." It has since become one of my favorite sayings- don't take it away from me. We later discovered the source of the sound when we happened upon the biggest bullfrog I have ever seen.

I really liked how this picture turned out. It is all about the lighting. A slice of Tortuguero, the village, at night. Tortuguero is a really small village. It takes all of 10 minutes, at a stroll, to walk through it. A little longer when you're gawking. Tourism is their main trade and it is home to the scientists who come to study the turtles.

Our stay in Tortuguero was short- one night. I wanted to stay another day and take in the peaceful elements and rest from our labors- it was Sunday. But Amy was anxious to not waste a day and be off to see somewhere else. So we hopped on the "taxi" and started the long ride home.

And I mean long... the boat broke down. We had difficulty getting to this point- and we stayed here for over 2 hours waiting while they went to Moin to get oil. In a way we both got what we wanted. We left which is what Amy wanted- and I got some time to sit, read, play cards and relax on my Sabbath. Granted I would have preferred the hammock but lets just call it a compromise. The three hour trek turned into six.

While we were banked- we had some time to met those who lived nearby. I loved this man. Just look at that face. He cut up coconut for anyone.

But I would be careful to be on his good side...

The local kids were swimming the the canal and enjoying the attention of many stranded travelers.

Eventually the oil came and that got us- well, a little further. Far enough to stop at a hotel/bar along the canal that had road access to get back to Moin. Taxis were called and the next thing we knew we were being shuttled off to Pureto Limon. We actually wished we would have stayed at the hotel by the canal. Looked like a lot of fun there.


Tires are used as boat stops any where at boat might- stop. I loved the way my pictures of the tire turned out. Except, I can't decide which is my favorite- so I included all three.

And... I really liked the hanging bananas we saw everywhere.

Sadly enough there wasn't much more to our trip. Tortuguero was our last big hoorah. Pureto Limon was fun because we made it fun. We sat at the corner window table at the restaurant and flirted with all the guys that walked past. Some circled the block several times to see us- yet again. Pureto Limon isn't the safest place ever. He went out after dark to find someplace to eat and after 1-2 blocks looked at each other and said- maybe the hotel restaurant is the best option. So we made a night of it at the hotel. With Amy's blond hair and blue eyes we stopped traffic everywhere. It was interesting when I got home how I noticed that no one took notice of me anymore. It was kinda nice to at least help in "stopping traffic" and watch guys do a double take when they saw you. I couldn't help but think -it sure would be nice to get a guy's attention that easily in the states. Ah, well.

Monday morning we did a little shopping in Puerto Limon and then headed off to the bus terminal to return to San Jose- sad that our adventure was at an end. I, for sure, was not ready. Still so much I wanted to see and do- and really I did not miss work for a single solitary minute- was not anxious to get back. The bus ride was more entertaining because Amy gave up her seat to this "kid" standing in the aisle falling asleep. We was a chatter box!! He even admitted that he talks a lot. He strained my poor rusty Spanish. But one thing was clear- he (liked everyone else I talked to) thought Amy was beautiful. He told me to tell her- but not until we had gotten off the bus and he was gone. Then he shocked me by giving me a rare Colon. (Costa Rican money) Just because- and he told me to be very careful with it. Oh, and he was cute when we said we wanted to go dancing that night in San Jose. He became very protective. Telling me to be careful and to use my elbows. Apparently San Jose has a reputation...

My bus friend and the Colon he gave me.


Market in town.

Never fear- no need for elbows. We decided to spend the night near the airport, because our flight was so early, instead of in the city. We walked around town a little but didn't find much, no dance clubs, and that night was the worst for me. My cold had gotten so bad that I was coughing and miserable. So we settled for minestrone soup and pizza at the craziest little Italian spot. A gringo with the worst Italian New York accent- whose Spanish was just plain painful to listen to- owned the restaurant. But the food was good.

And then we were gone. The view from the plane- leaving our beautiful Costa Rica behind.

It's My Party and I'll Dance If I Want To

This may seem like a strange picture to put up for my party and to be first... My brother and his family came over early to support me and help me get ready for the big night. This is the only picture I have of them from that night. So, this is in honor of them. Love them all!!!! And to my family who might not recognize my sassy new haircut- that's me in the white shirt. Who would have guessed the blond, long haired little girl would end up with short and dark? But I love it!!

Upstairs was where there was room to mingle for those not interested in listening to the band or dancing. My mom worked hard to create a 30 pictures of Heather. Starting from the day I was born to today. It was on my computer for any curious soul to peruse. Downstairs was where the action was. Ken my downstairs neighbor let us use his house for the band. It was very convenient that he was out of town that week. I am happy to report there was no damage whatsoever. It was in better condition when all was said and done than when he left- cleaner.

I hate the first hour of a party because heaven forbid anyone show up on time. And really how awkward for those first few souls who trickle in. Fear of Failure! But as you will see- in the end all worries fled. And if no one else had a good time- I did.

How could I turn 30 without dancing?

This is when I could really relax and have fun. The critical mass had been reached. The party was a success and a lot of fun, if I do say so myself!

I wasn't the only one dancing!!!


The infamous Emily Utt!

Krissy and Jeff- Krissy sings an incredible version of If You Could Hie to Kolob. Personally, I think you have never heard it until you've heard her sing it.


The band in action. Where did I get them? From my ward of course... I mean really, how many wards come fully equipped with such talent? A full band and equipment- how lucky could I get?!

Why another picture of the band you ask... Because the one above was lacking Mr John Walker- I couldn't truly have documented the band without a picture of him.

Clara Rae and I... she was quite the partier. Loved having her there. I love having her in our family!

Ashely Stolworthy is truly one of my favorites in this world!

My brother and his family with James McOmber, our second cousin I met on facebook. Never met him before my party. =)

My friend Steve the comedian. He was great to come and give us a few laughs. I'm not into stand around and stare/ hope you find someone to talk to parties... I wanted more!

Part of the crowd enjoying Steve.

The "free bird" and I. She came back just for me- or at least that is what I am choosing to believe. "Don't take it away from me." =)

The amazing talented members of H2A dance. Heather Heiner, Heather McOmber and Athelia Wholley. We really did have fun. Nothing but fun- not a serious bone in the dance . We choreographed it at Liberty Park. It is so fun to be in the choreographic process. If all goes well there is a video of it at the end.

Announcing H2A Dance. I had to give up the jeans for dance appropriate costuming. I ended up wearing them the rest of the night. Those pants are just too great. I found them in a closet in this house when I moved in. It was meant to be- they fit perfectly! The dance was a hit. So much fun to perform. Dancing in front of a crowd may not be everyone's birthday wish, but that is what makes me-me. I wanted my birthday to represent me, what I like/love. Let it be clear- this is not how I wish every birthday to be. I enjoy performing, but I do not seek perpetual spotlight. I had a need to go all out for my 30th- so I did. We danced to Dancing Queen by ABBA. Which has been my personal theme song since I first heard it when I was 17. How could it not? Flirty, sassy, and fun -those were the choreographic guidelines.

The Birthday Cake! Carrot from Costco- and it was mighty tasty!





Finally- the funnest card that just had to be worn!

SADNESS!!! Loading the video of our dance is just too much for my poor ancient computer to handle. Both times I tried, T-Rex made a valiant effort, but just couldn't pull through. I almost made my computer extinct. I will try to load it up using someone else's computer because it is too good to miss.