State Fair

Highlights

FUNNEL CAKE and FERRIS WHEEL- those were the 2 things I was thinking about all day while at work waiting for my escape from the hospital.
1 Day old calf
Jazzercise Lambs
Giant pumpkins
Local Honey
Fine Arts Gallery
Photography Gallery
Teenage 4H boys in a barn with a large fake spider, a string, and nothing better to do...
Anya
Show Pigs and thinking of Charlottes Web
Running into good friends
People watching: there are a lot of fat people in this world, I'm just putting it out there.

House Pictures!!

Perhaps my biggest adventure of the summer was buying my first house.  It was quite the wild ride and maybe one day I will finish writing the whole story- but in the mean time how about some pictures!!

It is so nice to say I have absolutely no buyers remorse- and considering it is my biggest purchase ever- that is a really good feeling.  I love my house.  I love coming home to it and find I love it more everyday.  Even with broken toilets, sprinkler heads and all kinds of fun greeting me in the first month- I am so happy there.  I didn't even know how much I needed it until I was in it.  I closed the last week of July and got the keys August 1, 2011.  Anya moved in with me and we are like peas and carrots (thank you Forrest Gump).  I am most excited to play in the yard.  Plenty of potential there.  So take a peek and see what you think!

Yeah for room to grow! 

Why I Live in Utah

All pictures are taken in Utah during this summers adventures.  This is why I love living in Utah 2011.

Wild Flowers- Aug 2011

Albion Basin (Little Cottonwood Canyon, SLC)

Trail head- 30min from my house

Bryce Canyon May 2011

Trail head- 4 hours from my house

 Moab June 2011

Trail head 3 hours from my house

Delicate Arch- Arches National Park June 2011

Trail head 3 1/2 hours from my house

Arches National Park

 Bryce

Alta- Aug 2011

30min from house





 Devil's Castle- Alta

WILD FLOWERS

 Sunset Ridge Aug 2011

Border between Alta and Brighton

Log Book at the top of Mt Olympus

Top of Mt Olympus looking East

View from Mt Olympus Saddle

Top of Mt Olympus Sept 2011

Trail head 15min from my house

Heavy

I feel heavy. Not from the weight of my body; it is the weight of my heart that is shrinking me toward the earth. Tight and heavy- pulling me in toward myself. So much effort required to sustain an upright position. I just want to curl up until I overlap myself, holding everything close until I am safe. Until all of my outer walls cover my inner walls and I am no longer exposed and vulnerable.  Wishing I was a rolly polly curled up with my armor protecting me.  A little push and I could roll away from the world.

"At Least You Weren't Flying a Plane"

Praying makes a difference. The possibility that I would have been at work this week as a patient and not an employee (if God had not granted me a series of miracles) is high. I was driving home from California after a great week in San Diego and Redlands for a continuing ed conference when at 10 hours into the drive I enter the Utah County work zone. The sun has just set and I am anxious to get home to prepare for work the next day. My good friend Chris Wilde calls just to see how things are going and after a few minutes of chatting I let out a quick panicked yelp and say that my car just stopped working. In actuality, just the instrumentation simultaneously dropped to gravity dependant zero position. I do not know my speed, gas gauge, or core temp. And I do not know what is wrong. At work I described it as the dials went from full muscle tone to fully flaccid in an instant- an obvious central nervous system failure. Chris tells me to calm down and asks if the car is still running- which I note that it is. I also notice that my headlights are dying and it is getting dark outside. I am really nervous because I have 30 miles left with no lights and the sun is not going to make an encore performance. I am in the middle of the work zone- no shoulder. Chris says to keep going as long as possible. All my senses are standing at attention as I maneuver through the traffic trying to keep a clear radius because I don't know how much people can see me. One car pulls in front of me enough that I had to take my foot off the gas for a second and when I step on it again... pause, jolt and then reengage. Okay- that was really unnerving. The car ahead slows so I have to repeat process with similar results. Within 30 seconds of the initial pause the gas pedal now no longer works at all. Work zone, no shoulders, dark... (perhaps repetitive but this is what I am thinking) I am also slightly or moderately panicked. Chris is telling me not to panic and I am praying I have enough momentum to get to the next exit. But, I am slowing quickly and there is no way I'll make it. That is when a piece of shoulder opens- the only shoulder I know if in 20miles of work zone. I pray I still have brakes as I pull over. I of course have no idea how much shoulder there is or if there is a drop off because I can not see without headlights. Mercifully I make it tot he side and engage my brakes for a full and complete stop. My hands were shaking so bad I was giving Parkinson patients a run for their money. But I made it, I was safe and after a few tears and Chris telling me over the phone everything turned out fine, its all okay, I managed to calm down. I called my insurance and got a tow truck, Chris was already in his car and able to come pick me up. As for timing, the tow and Chris basically arrived at the same time, and my phone battery lasted long enough for me to finish the last call I needed to complete everything. I even had a highway patrolman and a kind hearted man stop and check to make sure I was alright while I was waiting. My only complaint is the mosquitoes the size of Zeus that infiltrated the car every time I had to open the door. I arrived home safely thanks to my chauffeur and even got a little sleep before going to work. Trax helped me to work and my incredible mechanic (love him) Mike got a new alternator installed by the end of the day. I was back up and running with out missing a beat. (If you need a good honest and reliable mechanic- Atlas Motors 4020S 500W.) I <3 them. I am so grateful I took the time to get on my knees and pray for safety and protection for my journey enabling God to work unrestrained to produce such beautiful miracles that something that could have been life altering-even ending- turned into a minor inconvenience. Praying-it does a body good.

First Impressions

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Last night I decided to make an impression both memorable and tangible. Perhaps my subconscious really wanted to be sure there was a reminder of my presence for all. First date- Now if you remember I normally don't blog about dates- but this one is all about me. Dinner, new shoes- Kuru (ever hear of them, if you haven't then you should super comfortable, ergonomically/anatomically based, stylish and enviro friendly- watch out Keen. www.kurufootwear.com) then we stop by his place to check out his and his roommate's garden- and truly it was worth seeing. Before we get to the garden I am walking down the stairs in the house in socks on carpet and can you guess what happens next? Those stairs magically transformed into a slip and slide. My feet flew out from under me- rather violently- and I landing hard on my backside and back and found myself no longer at the middle of the stairs but at the bottom. I truly believe I set a personal record for best spills ever. If I was 80 years old that would have been a broken hip for sure. Bret turns around after I let out a bit of a squeal and finds me at the bottom of the stairs with my eyes closed not moving. I think I panicked him a little. I quickly stated that I was fine but initially he wasn't buying it because I was still not moving. Then he looked up and I followed his gaze and found the huge hole my elbow punched into the dry wall when I went spread eagle during my world record splay. Yep that's right- I punched a hole in the wall- literally leaving my first impression. I just wish I had a picture of the hole to go along with this blog. You will all be happy when I set your mind at ease that I turned out to be ok. A bruised tail to go with a even more red, embarrassed and bruised ego. I did spend the next half hour on a pack of frozen asparagus (courtesy of Josh- his roommate) to ice my throbbing right butt cheek. The wall- that didn't fair as well as I did. Now they have to tell the owner of the house- their roommate- and try to fix it before he gets home in a few days. Good thing they are handy boys. And that is my latest first impression.

Streaming Live

Is blogging like riding a bike? If so then I may be in trouble. You see, I kinda want to get back into the game. The blogging game. I've been benched by the coach for a while (except for a few safe minutes (posting pictures) )and I want more action. But if blogging is like riding a bike this may be rough for a while. Everyone says once you learn to ride a bike you never forget how. I say wrong. Ok- so the basics of balance and pedaling and maybe even braking didn't totally fail me but that is all I am going to give it. Short of avoiding mom and dad holding the bike or training wheels, when I got back on a bike after a long sabbatical it was not like I remembered it.
The here's and there's about why I stopped writing are not really important. The all too typical sob story of time management is only one piece of the pecan pie. Why pecan? Because I fell madly in love with saying pecan pie while living in North Carolina. (ps NC I miss you)
So now I'm nervous. Yes nervous. What if what I have to say is stupid? Bringing the question of why does it matter? I worry that it isn't witty, or profound, or or or. But that kinda of thinking is not helpful, only paralyzing. Trust me, I know, because I find myself floundering in these thoughts and spirals all too often. I am determined to be ok with the fact that no one may impressed by what I have write. I am writing it for my own sake, right? Right? Well, its a work in progress.
I made the determination tonight that I was going to write. I mean when you leave work at 8:15pm and you have to go back at 7:30am it doesn't leave you much time to do much of anything else. During the drive home from the hospital I was thinking about what I wanted to write. (Because I am out of the practice of writing I have discovered that I don't think like I used to. When I wrote more frequently I was more apt to chew on and ponder things that I came across and thought if /how I wanted to write about it. Now my brain is dull- partly why I want to start writing again.) What to write... ?work. I could write about work- there are hundreds of stories I could share- but then I think, what about HIPPA? Then I hear the voices of so many that say- I don't like your stories from work. What? What is not to like about motorcycle accidents, car accidents, stabbings, shootings, people newly paralyzed, dying of multi system organ failure, sepsis, or... OK- maybe work stories in small easy doses. I figure there are generally two ways to approach what I see and do at work. One is with fear, heartbreak and despair. The other is with hope and gratitude for what can be done, what can be saved, and how much I can help people who can't help themselves. There will always be injury, illness, and accident- this is life- that is just what you get.
Today at work I had a great gift. One of my patients said thank you to me and that made a world of difference. When I started she was so weak she literally couldn't even move her eyes. After a month of torturing her and never letting her give up she has come a long way. There are days I swear she thinks I am the meanest person ever- but I am determined she will stand and walk again.
I think I am getting tired because the multiple forks, tangents and thoughts in my mind are slowing down. Work is tiring- end of story. At least my legs don't shake by the end of the work week like they used to in the very beginning. The question is, How long can I do this job? The answer is - not forever. I already have aged my back much faster than I care to think too much about. Perhaps some bodies are better designed for the 70-80 hour week of this kind of work- but I think every week on- how much longer will I last? And trust me, I don't want it to be something giving out on me that leads me to what's next. I have thought a lot about what is next. I haven't liked too many of my answers. Life is challenging- yet comfortable where I am. I leave work at work, the 7 days off is so alluring it is hard to give up, and I make enough money I am satisfied. But I would rather be proactive than have a change forced upon me. As a result I am returning over and over again to the idea of a PHD. Yikes. I'll be honest- I'm scared. Although I am less and less scared about whether or not I could do it. I am scared about losing myself to being a student again. Being poor, student loans(I just paid mine off), and every night in the library just doesn't sing to me- especially with how comfortable things are right now. I really don't want to go back to a night out at the movie being a splurge.
The end goal is to teach. I love teaching and I am fairly good at it- although the little I have taught may not give a good sample of where this degree would take me. Currently I am thinking about Public Health- preventative health. I really want to prevent people from being my current patient. And recently- during my run on Saturday to be specific- I have thought of a potential emphasis- children. I truly believe the key is to establish habits and create health patterns in childhood. It is so hard to change midstream. I also think children have the potential to inspire their parents to improve their health behavior.
Okay- if you have made it so far into this blog there are only a few options as to why or how.
A) You hoped I would actually end up with something worthwhile at the end (sorry but this is as good as it gets today. Its like the 2 hours you will never get back from a movie you were hoping to find some purpose or justification for watching.
B) Guilt or Fear- your family or close to it and you for some reason thought not reading this would come back to bite you someday. Well- I can't say I don't bite, but rest assured, not over this post.
C) Totally bored
D) Unsolved mystery

In the end I realize the only one I am writing for is me. I need to write. And if that means a stream of unrelated topics to ease the circles in my mind then ok- a stream it is. I do plan on writing more- and as I write more I will put a few more meaningful thoughts together. There is one topic in particular I am wanting to write a little about. The second topic- well that needs to wait awhile to protect the seemingly innocent(me). Oh, but that is a good story. ;)

My bed is calling me and I am quite ready to fall into the lure of its siren. Good night and God bless.

H~