The End of June

I can hardly believe that today is the last day of June and marks that the year is officially half over. Time for a check up. I opened up my notebook where I wrote down some of my new years resolutions. I entitled it "Joy for the New Year". That was my New Years Resolution- Joy. I wanted to live my life more actively. Not to feel that another year had passed with nothing to show for it. More planning and doing. Sitting here on June 30th I am surprised and amazed at where I stand. I am meeting my goal- but... in more ways than I planned. Looking back on my blog one can see I haven't been sitting around too much. No need to recap. AND, the best part is that so much more is coming this year! Going to see John Mayer and then Jack Johnson at Usana, hiking the canyons, the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City, Costa Rica in Sept, camping in southern Utah and hiking the parks for my birthday- the big 30! And that just takes me to Oct. This list doesn't include bike rides, my professional level dance classes, yoga, books (which is a rare treat to find the time), and working in the yard- which by the way BB managed to lose the lawn mower, so, the front looks hideous. I taught a yoga class last Thursday and loved it. Wish I taught every week. I have met my goals of paying off my car, next week I will have lowered my student loan by a digit (to celebrate Emily suggested we drop something off the top window because I've dropped a number), and I've actually begun my food storage and emergency preparedness (which will be an on going project for a long time). All of which were additional goals set at the New Year. (Don't worry I have a few more to work on.)

I want to spend another moment on my goal for Joy. I have written before that Joy is the ultimate quest. Joy however, cannot be found by a lot of "doing"- even when that doing is a lot of fun. The more I do- the more I understand this truth. But, I admit, I still find myself trying to obtain joy by doing. As if I have to prove to myself and others I have a worthwhile life... because look, you can see it--- that is a psychoanalysis for later. I think Satan pushes this idea that joy comes from "doing" to keep us so occupied we don't have time to reflect and discover the truth. So where does joy come from? This answer is simultaneously simple and complex. The ultimate answer is Joy comes from fulfilling our purpose and mission on earth and becoming more like Christ. Currently, I am working to find balance between my "to do list" and spending my time in less obvious accomplishments- spiritual time. I have noticed- I find more true/ pure joy with my spiritual activities and gains. (So why is it so hard to spend more time with them?)


Continuing on my "check up", I admit there were a few months this year that were not so great. I could not seem to work through a "situation" I found myself in. By far, not the worst I've seen, but frustrating nonetheless. Joy, at times, seemed like an enigma. Until... I finally received the direction that made all the difference. I started to study about hope. I think I have flirted ruthlessly with hope in my life. I'd pick it up from time to time, but never made a commitment. I never bothered to discover and learn about it and therefore was unable to allow it to transform my life. Simply holding ultimate hope (Christ- atonement, eternities, covenants, God's promises...) has brought me so much light. Truly lifting a burden I have needlessly carried for too long. From this change, I have come much closer to my goal of "Joy for the New Year" than by anything else I have done.


A change of subject- as it is the last day of June I want to recognize a couple of birthday's. June 11th was my niece Jody's, 7th birthday! Love that girl dearly. The very next day was a dear friends birthday. I want to take a moment to honor him. Because life ebbs and flows- weaving a complicated pattern throughout our lives- occasionally the process requires a separation for the ultimate good. In March, I told a dear friend goodbye for what may possibly be the rest of our lives. Our current situations demanded it. June 12th was his birthday and I don't want to let June pass without wishing him a happy birthday. He doesn't know about my blog and will never know that I remembered. But here is a tribute to him anyway. He has been a great teacher and inspiration to me about how to live, what is and isn't important, and how to embody charity. He reminds me of a Hindu tradition: a old wise soul choosing to be reincarnated not because he needs it but because he wants to help others. Peace, calm, contentment, and happiness overflows affecting those around him. He has a spiritual gift of seeing people clearly and helping them to see themselves. He cherished me and never missed an opportunity to express his thanks. Don't get me wrong- he is human- with weaknesses of his own, but he stands apart from the crowd.

And so I am at the end of June. Grateful for the lessons learned, activities performed, and excited for what the future will bring!