Kaleidoscope of Thoughts

I have been treating a low back pain patient for at least 2 months. Not that is anything remarkable (except for LBP pts are the most unreliable group ever- so her consistently coming is in the end rather remarkable), but the fact that she is 64 with Alzheimer's is. I have never had to consistently work with an Alzheimer's pt before and it has been an interesting experience. She doesn't follow/ understand verbal cues very well and needs to be taught the exercises and positions (all three of them) every single time- including from 10 minutes previously. I know she doesn't remember so I am surprised at myself at the frustration that arises. Granted, they are short flares, but they come none the less. I think of her husband and how much work and patience he must have. All the caregivers in this world deserve something amazing. I hope that I can be so lucky to find myself married to a man willing to care for me in such a state. Only I would hope I could ask for a little bit more- consistently clean clothes and a shower... My sense of smell is just too acute.

From the pictures on my blog it would seem that rock climbing is a major passion of mine. I do enjoy it- but it is far from a passion. It was one of those activities one picks up when in pursuit of someone that you keep up after the fact. (I had climbed independent of the male species and enjoyed it- but the pursuit of one led me to make the investment in shoes and a harness.) I like climbing for many different reasons. A) frequently it is outside in the mountains and what a view from the top B) it is a like a puzzle- fitting the pieces together - brain and muscle combined C) sense of accomplishment at the top especially when it's tough to figure out D) it's therapy for me.
Therapy for me because I am not risk taker. I have almost become paralyzed by fear at timies and hanging off the side of a cliff is not the most calming of situations. I have to learn how to trust-myself- including arms, feet, legs, hands separately and individually from each other- and things I can't control- the person on the other side of the rope, the rope, your harness, the bolts... I have to breathe, keep moving, and not listen to the voices telling me to stop as they grow louder the higher I climb. There is something very powerful about getting to the top without my fears getting the better of me. Conquering. I become more powerful everyday living because of this practice. Besides- male climbers are usually laid back, lean, toned and frequently good looking- not a bad crowd to spend some time with.

Changing Tide?
For 1 1/2 years I have not worked full time. My reasons are myriad and not what I wish to discuss. For awhile I have had a nagging impression that it is time to go back to full time. I have thought about how- work isn't busy enough to add on an extra day, do I find another place (that never feels right)... Well perhaps today I got a little bit more of the picture. Alli one of the part time therapists put in her resignation today, shocking us all. Alan is not going to hire on anyone- meaning- I just might easily slide into full time in the next month or so. No guarantees- but a possibility. Can I handle the change? It means giving up a lot of great things. On the flip side- less guilt and more money. We shall see...