Angry Eyes

Angry- yes I am angry. What an ugly word that is- it doesn't roll off the tongue very well- in fact it seems to get caught up and stuck in your mouth as you say it. I suppose it is only fitting. That is all anger does anyway- get caught up and stuck inside you. I would like to throw words and blame people for the way I feel but, the truth is, it isn't their fault. The fault is in fact all mine. And the truth is- I'm not really angry- I'm just tired of nursing repeated broken hearts. The frustrating part is how avoidable these moments are- if only I didn't let myself get carried away in foundless hopes. A good friend told me one of the wisest things I have ever heard "The only outcome you can control is your personal eternal outcome. Everything else is subject to unexpected possibilities." At least the gospel gives me the keys, knowledge, and hope of the one thing I can control. Yet I insist on placing hope where there is no grounding. Silly, Silly Girl. Do I feel any anger now? No, the angry eyes have been replaced by quiet self-reflection, for the time being.