BB Strikes Again

The latest from the landlord... I listened to a voicemail from BB yesterday... long winded as ever so I will give you the readers digest version. "Hey Heather- so somehow I lost the keys to your house. I need to let some workers in tomorrow to put in central air (hooray- except for the fact that it is only for 2 of the 3 floors in the house. We don't call him the king of shortcuts for nothing.) So just leave your keys in the window sill for me and I will let them in and make a copy for me." No problem, you just lost the keys to our house...

I Found Jack!!

Diego Gonzalez legally immigrated to the United States from Venezuela when he was 12. I met him early November 2006 on a blind date. The fact that we was a) willing to go to a modern dance concert, b) enjoyed it, and c) intelligent conversation about the performance followed, earned him a second date. Through some persistence on his part- that second date turned into a few more... We were exclusively dating before I knew what was happening. Now, I just wonder why/ how that happened-- but I think given my excellent track history-- I was just happy to find someone who was a college graduate, RM, legal, non-polygamist, no children, who respected me, and who I could have an intelligent conversation with (no lie- sadly enough, is there any wonder why I am slightly cynical and jaded about dating). Have you ever heard the saying -"you come to love what or whom you serve"? Well I found that to be true. Not too long after we started dating, Diego had a Bankart repair (shoulder surgery). Not fun, painful and initially rather debilitating- giving me ample opportunities to serve. Not to mention the free physical therapy I gave to rehab his shoulder. Then there was the time he mixed cleaners cleaning his bathroom... instead of a night out, we had a night in the ER for his pleural effusion. In the end, I was taking care of him- frequently. But at the time it was fine- it brought us close-- fast. For Christmas that year I was going home to Cali. It had been a long time since I had a California Christmas and was excited. On Christmas Eve I had an early Christmas present... Diego showed up at my parents house to spend Christmas with me and my family. (He had coordinated the whole thing with my parents.) I was shocked-- but I realized- happy, that progressed the relationship even more (for me). The following weekend we were in Boise to spend New Year's with his friends. The week after that he said he needed a few days to himself. The week after that... he needed a couple months to work through things and didn't want me to be caught up in it and wait around while he got things straight. Leading me to believe if I wait he'd be back. Two weeks after that... I'm at a BYU men's volleyball game (a favorite activity of Diego, my roommates, and I) and he walks in holding some girl's hand and then sits and snuggles up with her. (I haven't been back to a game since.) Apparently, she was the thing he needed a couple of months to figure out. Not my favorite memory. As a result, Diego has a special honor. He stands as the only boy I have ever burned anything after a break-up. I was probably not in the best state of mind when I put a match to the trash can containing things pertaining to him, but fortunately, the flames from the bon fire I created put some sense into my head and nothing but what I intended to burn- burned. I also deleted all pictures off my computer and camera. But... the Jack Johnson CDs... those I had to keep. But the problem was he burned them for me, his handwriting was on them, and they had the songs that he sang and played on his guitar for me. I am sentimental- I admit it. So I hid them. With the intent that I could find them when I was ready... That was about a year and a half ago. Guess what I found today... Jack!!! I was soooo happy. I have been waiting to stumble upon those CDs for ages. I love Jack. My commute to work rarely is so enjoyable as it was today. Diego married that girl long time ago. Personally, I haven't dated (or kissed for that matter) anyone since. Not that I am traumatized... it's just not worth it (yet).

Weekend Edition

Good News!!! (she's dead...love Wicked) I remembered my camera this weekend. My blog won't be nearly so boring because there are pictures! Hooray!

Life is good when your weekend starts on Friday. I had my first temple shift on Friday am yesterday. To be honest, I miss my Saturday shift already. Not that I won't come to love the sisters I work with, but it is too slow. I need some action to keep me going at 5, 6, 7... am. The only action is from the wedding season (oh hurrah). I was soo excited to find the brides dressing room for an hour on my schedule for the month. I'm sorry, but most the time- that just isn't my favorite post. --- okay moving on. Nap, lawn mowing, REI for their sale- shoes to hike in, Patagonia yoga pants, and a locking carbineer (sp?) (amazing how much 3 things can add up to), yoga class (loving my new pants) and a trip out to daybreak (first time out there, I loved that the houses weren't "Utah houses".)

Most yoga teachers are not LDS but they usually are active seekers of light, truth and connection to the divine. I find (usually) they are very open and available to receive inspiration and it shows by the truth they speak during class. I was sitting in the beginning of Scott's class Friday night and it was as if every word he said was directly to me. Not just for me but to me. It felt like a direct connection- almost palpable, from the divine, through him, to me. There is joy in experiencing and recognizing the Lord reaching out to you. What he actually said is somewhat blurred- it was the spirit communicating with my spirit- different from words communicating with the mind. The hatha yoga was good to...

One of the highlights of the weekend was seeing my friend Jessica Stratford Hall. We have been friends since my family moved to Santa Rosa when I was one. We were in nursery, primary, and young women's together. There are not too many members in Santa Rosa but with each others help we successfully negotiated Junior High and High School. She is one of the truest friends anyone could ever have. There is greatness in her soul and I am grateful for her. Unfortunately, we do not get to see each other very often. She is a busy mother of two in California where her husband practices law. It may have been two years since we last saw each other. But she is the sort of friend where that doesn't matter- we pick up right where we left off. We talked and talked and could have kept talking but the guilt of stealing her precious night of uninterrupted sleep was too much, I left at 11:30pm. It was a great night.

J Strat and Heather Mc (pronounced meek)

Seeing Jessica reminded me of one of my best memories. It is not often you can fulfill someones dream. Jessica enabled me to have that joy and memory. Being 16 as a girl is somewhat challenging and a lot of pressure. You have been fed your whole life that there is something magical about it- sweet 16. You can date- and boys will start to line up at your door, you will become beautiful, all awkwardness ceases... Well as Jessica and I discovered together- that is a nice little fairytale and reality bites. One night we were one the phone together as her 17th birthday approached. She was lamenting that all she had wanted was one date at 16 and the chances of that happening were slim to none. I somehow had managed my one date and felt guilty that I had that and she didn't. I got off the phone and the wheels began to turn. Soon I had a plan, but I only had a few days to pull it off. I called one of my best friends Don Daley- who happened to be friends with the guy Jess had liked for months- Josh. I arranged for Jess and I to go out together the night before her 17th birthday. What she didn't know was that I was showing up with two boys for a double date- Don and I and her with Josh- her crush. Honestly, I don't even remember what we did- but that was the best thing ever.

Friday night soon rolled into Saturday morning. To celebrate my new found Sat morning freedom I was going to play racquetball with one of the gems of Salt Lake City- Pete Nash. At 8 am we hit the court. Pete plays every Friday, I play once a year... I do get better every time I play- and really -I'm not that bad, but lets just say that he does not play to his full potential with me. But we both walk away happy- he always wins and I always had fun and learned something new, and he gets a laugh out of the dancer side of me that seems to manifest itself no matter what I'm doing.


Racquetball Buddies

Saturday continues with a trip down south. Emily was so kind to pose with her favorite sunglasses. She has more self confidence than I.

We went to see "Made of Honor" courtesy of all of us having gift certificates. It was fun and although I hate to admit it- there were some great kisses in that movie. So if any of you men need some tips...


Before shopping we stopped at Anya's house where her mom was tending Odin. Anya loves that little boy- he is pretty cute.



I started to complain a little about being tired and hungry while shopping- so Anya tossed me on her back and carried me to the mall.

Finally we made it to dinner. The legendary Mama Chu's.

For 2 years we have heard about Mama Chu's in Orem- a Bybee favorite. The plan had been for the three of us to experience it together- which did happen- but it got better. Sat morning Emily and I got a text from Anya- her parents wanted to join us for dinner and her dad wanted to pay- was that alright? Ummm... no, that isn't okay. I mean really- did they even need to ask. So dinner was a family affair and I loved it all the more for it. Mom and Dad Bybee, Anya's 2 sisters, the baby, her brother-in-law and me and the girls. Good food, good company, and the best Horchata I have had in the states.


Thank you Mom and Dad Bybee!!!


The evening concluded with a drive home listening to show tunes Saturday and some sing along. Satin hands and another movie- I was planning on going to bed but I just couldn't resist - 2 Weeks Notice- a favorite Romantic comedy. All in all a most successful weekend.

Random Thoughts

Wednesday night is an exercise night. The general plan is dance class Mon night, run on Wed, Yoga Fri night (or perhaps now Saturday morning...), and hopefully if all the stars align some sort of exercise on Sat (bike ride, climbing, etc). This week has so far been a loss- I had a dinner for work in Ogden on Mon night. (That means no dancing... which also means not so happy Heather) We met with Richard Quincy the medical director for the USSA (US ski and snowboard association). 6 of us in our clinic provided support for the various teams around the world this season. Our clinic is looking to provide even more therapy and medical care for the USSA in the future. The meeting was good, dinner ok, and now I am going to rehab some skiers in Park City on one of my days off. And, I may just end up at the top of some more mountains freezing, waiting for someone to crash this next winter. I am left thinking, I should have spent some more time on the slopes so I actually know how to get down the mountain a little better. Oh well. I joked to Emily once that I must be doomed to marry a skier and I am being put on the mountain for his sake. All fine and good by me as long as he learns how to dance- Swing preferably but I'm not picky- country, ballroom, latin... some sort of partner dance. It is the easiest way to keep me happy.

So where was I? Oh yeah. So my exercise week is already thrown off and I can feel it. The problem is that I feel sluggish as a result and I don't want to get on the treadmill. (There was a slight whine to the end of that last sentence. Did you hear it?) But never fear, once I have a little more space between me and my dinner I will run. Running is not technically "enjoyable" to me. I like anything active so it isn't death to me and I do like to sprint, but not run and run and run. I wasn't built to run. 3 miles and I'm done. But I am surrounded at work by runners- marathoners and ironman triathletes. I frequently feel lazy and pathetic when I hear about their runs. But to each their own- they can't kick their head. (somehow I think running a marathon is much cooler and more functional than kicking their head- unless they are kicking someone else's head...) And that is all I have to say about that...

Final topic of the night- completely unrelated to the rest- What does a girl have to do to get a date around here? Ok so "around here" just sounds better than get a date- which is the case in general, no matter where I have lived. Not dating really is not that bad- which is a good thing because I would be very frustrated in life if that wasn't the case. I admit I date more than some... but not by much. A handful a year- more if you count blind dates, but even those have been scarce these days. I am busy and happy doing my own thing but some days I am left pondering- why am I not going out? I always have said that 90% of the dates are done by 10% of the girls. So what qualities put you into the 10% category? I still remember talking to a friend in high school- I wondered why I was never asked out. He said," Heather you are the kind of girl guys want to marry, not date." Only problem is... you have to date to get married. I'm not keen on arranged marriages (although when I am really frustrated I think that may not be such a bad idea.) So again I ask, what's a girl gotta do? And I ask that rather honestly. What is the difference? I am not intending to remain in perpetual singledom, I just don't know what to do to change the tide. I have been told I'm too intimidating- too educated, too smart, too successful, too spiritual, too... I'm sorry. I am not willing to halt my progression and be less because guys don't want an accomplished woman. What did you want me to do with all my time? And to all my accomplishments- there is a much longer list of weaknesses, inadequacies, and insecurities. Everyone displays their strengths, it is a mistake to overestimate people by what you see. So I petition any readers of this blog-- any thoughts? I draw the line at making cookies... that is the last piece of dignity I have left. I have crossed the line on most other "I will never...to get a date" statements (within my standards and values mind you).

Hoping to hear from you all soon... I'm off to run.

The Lord is Mindful of Me

I had absolutely no intention of making my blogs spiritual in nature. I am surprised at how much I have already written that is spiritual or religious in nature. Not everything I do is spiritual its just that these experiences stand out to me and have an urgency to be recorded. Far more important to me than the fact that I only saw 8 pts today because 5 cancelled- some(most) are getting better and others I'm still pondering how to help them. Some days I feel smart and capable- perhaps even good- and others I feel like a failure at work. It is always amazing to me how 1 failure completely overshadows everyone else that is doing better. But I digress.

Not that I thought letting go would be easy... I am just frustrated that I was right about how hard it is. I am constantly returning to where I started. I was particularly frustrated tonight and informed the powers to be of my dilemma. -- Then I started getting ready for tomorrow. I had debated whether or not to go to the ward temple baptisms in the morning. Plenty of pros and cons- well, sleep being the primary con. I can easily justify to myself not going because I spend 6 hours a week as it is in the temple. But somehow the temple won out. Because I have to go straight to work afterwards I pulled out a bag to pack somethings to enable me to get ready at the temple. In the process I opened a side pocket and found some papers. Not just any papers mind you... there was a receipt inside that I had been looking for for a month. Somehow I manage to get on a "suspicious" list for my FSA. (flex spending account) For every "purchase" this year from blood lab tests to prescriptions filled I have received a letter demanding a receipt as proof of acceptable FSA use. In the mail today was my third and final notice stating that if I don't turn in my pharmacy receipt then they will bill me the $80 charge. Honestly, I had given up trying to find the receipt. I knew I didn't throw it away, but it wasn't to be found. I was slightly stunned when while putting things together for the temple I found the receipt. This isn't a bag I use much and a week later would have been too late. As I looked at the receipt, (which I never even prayed for help to find) I gained the peace and comfort I needed. I knew God had given me a gift to tell me he is mindful of me and my needs even though I can't always see it. He hears and answers my prayers. I had prayed tonight that I may in my scripture reading find a story to remember- to help and strengthen me. Instead, he gave me my own story. Small and simple as it may be- yet, it is by small and simple things that great things come to pass.

2 Quick Things

1. I failed to write down the names of the girls I visit teach- Robin Openshaw, Ashley Stolworthy, and Karin Steed.

2. New thought: "True peace can only come from within. We are doomed for sadness if we base our happiness on things that are constantly changing." (Korean Monk)

The Weekend

I apologize in advance for what I fear this blog will be. Time is pressing. I have much I want to document and not enough time to do it justice. So disclaimer- please forgive grammar, spelling, poor wit, and anything else you may find lacking more so than usual.



I love having Fridays off. This blessed schedule started in late Feb?, I really don't remember exactly when, and has been the greatest thing since I decided that working full time isn't all that it's cracked up to be. This Friday started off with an acupuncture appointment- I am doing so well that it may be my last one for a long time. At least I hope, it's not cheap. The funny part of that appointment was the night before I had a long conversation with my mother discussing how difficult a time I am having organizing my "stress" so I see clearly. She mentioned asking my acupuncturist if there was anything he could do to help. (don't have time to explain more). Well, I didn't ask... but there was one specific needle he put in that had a lot of "motion" with it. I felt a lot of energy shifting. (crazy as it sounds, if you don't believe me, try acupuncture for yourself, then talk to me) I asked him about this point- oh, that's your third eye point- it helps shift perspective and see things more clearly. What are the odds...

Nothing too exciting for the rest of the morning- chores- laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping... I was going to start my garden but I ended up talking to my aunt Marilyn (a master gardener) and she said to wait until mid May. Fine by me, I sat down and read some of Les Mis instead. (I'll finish it one day.) The exciting part of the day is coming. First I finally got my very own Costco membership. I have wanted to be a member for maybe 10 years, never talked myself into making the trip and spending the money. It was a happy day. I am finally learning to live my life. To celebrate, I bought 2 hanging flower baskets (they look sooo good on the front porch, the colors match the house. I love flowers. I especially growing flowers. I always sad that if I had to go back to school for something else I would study horticulture. If I had to go back to school and study what would be the hardest (for me) yet most valuable- English.) I bought Enchanted- I can't help but love that movie, and a big bag of almonds. Thrilling huh- aren't you glad your reading all this.



I finished my shopping in time to join Emily for a night at the Ballet. Sounds refined and sophisticated doesn't it. Emily bought season tickets and has taken Anya or I with her (she is the greatest). For all my love of dancing and the six years of ballet focused training you would think I would like the ballet more than I do. But there is a little PTSD associated with ballet for me. (I am happy to report that I wasn't much effected by it last night.) You see, for all it's grace, beauty, and refinement there is an ugly side of ballet. A side I tasted too much of- there is still a lingering aftertaste. I remember tears streaming down my face at the bar after another harsh correction, not ever feeling good enough, thin enough, or talented enough. Learning to critique yourself and others just as harshly. Battles with eating disorders that never really go away. Blistered painful feet, hardly able to walk the next day,- which resulted in painful joints to this day. Backbiting and politics. Everything superficial. Yes, I also have memories of moments of grace. I enjoy the disciple and the feeling of accomplishment coming from correctly executing a combination. But, is there any wonder why I became a modern dancer? I really need to write a blog just on that sometime. Anyway, the Balanchine piece was beautiful classic ballet- but honestly, I got a little bored- clean lines and formations is not enough for me. The men's piece- really technically difficult but I want my men to be manly when they dance. Twyla Twarp's Nine Sinatra Songs fun with a great message- I did it my way. We are all unique- be true to yourself. Finally the piece I loved- Hamlet and Ophelia pas de deux. What can I say- I'm a sucker for a tortured love story. (courtesy of life) That dance was filled with art, emotion, movement,-- everything I could ask for.



Saturday- Temple, I found out Friday night I was needed to finish off the month at my Saturday shift. I had great plans for the morning, but they will wait until next week. I was in charge of the main floor. I checked in 24 own endowments and 27 couples for sealings in less than 5 hours. Needless to say, we were busy. The highlight from yesterday was getting my bike tire fixed and a helmet then taking a ride. I am out of shape but I was happy. Growing up I loved to ride my bike. I rode almost everyday, until... the helmet law. Being the child I was I did not want to ask my parents to spend money on me. I never asked for a helmet, I just stopped riding. After nearing 12-15 years, I am finally getting back to what I loved.



Sunday- Hooray, I just might make it through I have five minutes before I have to go. This morning I had the girls I visit teach over for breakfast. They are so great, I had to take a picture to keep them in remembrance for always.




So the question that must be asked is why? Why did I write this blog? There were things in it that I felt were important for me to write about me and I want to remember specific things. Anyone who reads this may not be able to understand what or why what I wrote was important. But I know why. And in the end, that is all that matters.